Following you
by Tilting Soliloquy
Summary: Rewrite of my story IRIS.. Naley with Laley friendship..
1. Chapter 1

_Hello everyone, well this is not a new story but a rewrite of my story Iris. I decided that i wasnt happy with the way the first one was written so i changed some bits. So enjoy the new one. _

**Following you**

**Part 1**

My name is Haley James I'm 16 years old and an only child since three weeks ago. Three weeks ago my life was turned upside down. I was an average teenager. You know the one who hangs with their best friend playing pranks, telling stories, confiding in each other and most of all just enjoying each others company. Well I had all that and you know what, I was happy. For once in my life I was content with what I had, I had a non existent family which most people would find sad but I enjoyed it. The freedom, the independence and of course how else would I have met Lucas Roe my best buddy, my other half… platonically of course. Oh God... I miss him so much right now, I just want him to be here with me right now on this raining morning at the park. This was our place. Staring at the sandbox, remembering.

_**And I'd give up forever to touch you  
Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now**_

We met when I was 3 years old, and let me just say I was a real cutie back then lol. He was in the sand pit with me playing with his miniature basketball. Yep he was basketball mad even at such a young age. It some how managed to roll its way to my side of the pit and he began to cry. By now you would think he was such a baby but well you are far from it… For some reason I got up and went over to him and handed back his ball. His blue eyes glistened with tears but then started to sparkle in the summer sky when he saw that his ball was back. I just stood there and smiled at him until my mummy came. (What I used to call my mum mummy till well I was like 8yrs old but enough of that.) Well she told me that it was time to go home. His blue eyes suddenly darted to mine when my mother mentioned home he looked saddened by the fact that I was leaving even though I didn't know his name and he didn't know mine. I gave him a toothy grin and waved as I said good bye to him. He stood up and gave me a smile which I remember till now, it was the funniest sight, think about it now but it was the sweetest then. He gave me a wide toothy smile well kinda because he had his two front teeth missing. From then on my mother took me to the park and got to know his mum Karen. I didn't know till I was 6 that my mum and Lucas' mum went to THH together and were friends. Lucas came to ours often and I went over to his sometimes. We formed a strong bond. He was my big Brother, the person who scared away all my potential boyfriends and was the person at my side when i cried. He was my everything my protector.

I shared my most intimate secrets with him and he did the same with me. He told me everything from what his favourite colour is, to who his latest crush was. It was sometimes hard to keep up with him, he was such a Ladies man, I just didn't see what all the girls in our school saw in him. I wasn't jealous that he wasn't attracted to me because I wasn't attracted to him as well and I will tell you now that no, never in our friendship were we attracted to each other well I know I didn't. We didn't have that type of bond; our bond was more brotherly sisterly kind. He was basically my family. When my parent were away, I would sometimes stay with Lucas and his family or Karen would let him stay at mines because she didn't like me being alone in a big house which I thank the lord every day that I got to know her and have her as a mother figure I couldn't have asked for anyone else. My parent where Engineers they travelled quiet a bit for their job, I would sometimes never see them for 3 months. Of course i loved them but i had also formed a strong bond with Karen.

I was waiting for him outside my house. I couldn't wait for him to arrive. He had just gotten his first ever car from his uncle Dan, he ran a car dealership. He was gonna pick me up and we would go over to Nathan's. He had always known that I had a little crush on him but he never said anything to him which I was happy for. It was quite a warm November never thought I would say that but it was nice not to cold and not to hot. I watched the streets for him to come down. He told me it was a red Porsche Carrera GT . I didn't know what that meant but you said it was red and I was happy that I could at least recognise it, I wasn't much of a car person. After about ten minutes of me waiting I saw his car he looked so happy driving down the street but then all I saw was the red car being thrown off the road and in to the pavement while a black SUV was attached to the left hand side of the red car. All I remember was running towards him, he looked so broken, I felt so broken. His last words are still embedded in my mind _I love you Haley tell mum and dad that I love them as well and don't worry about me I will be watching over you._I screamed at him told him not to say that, that he will make it. I noticed sirens getting louder and people forming crowds around and that's when I realised that he had stopped breathing and that he was gone. I clutched his body crying, even when the paramedics arrived i didn't want to let him go. He was gone, right before my eyes, he was gone.

_**And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight **_


	2. Chapter 2

Following you

**Part two**

It's been a month now since his death. I look in the mirror as i get ready. I stare at my appearance and see the saddness in my eyes. On my way to school, people look at me differently and I don't blame them. It's only been a month since he died and I have completely changed. Im not as happy and perky as people remember or knew me by. My auburn locks are not auburn anymore it's been turned raven black and so have my cloths. Im usually the baby tees and jeans girl always so colourful and bright and bubbly like my personality. Right now all I wear is black you could say that I had gone through a phase, a gothic phase that is, but it has nothing to do with a phase that it has to do with the fact that I had lost everything that day… my family my best friend my brother.

_And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

_Flash back to his funeral….._

His funeral was so beautiful. Kind of ironic don't you think. The church had been decorated. It had many pictures of Lucas and his friends all mounted by his coffin. Loads of his friends sat quietly in there seats contemplating about how they should act. Should they cry, should they be calm, should they be sad, all not knowing what to do at a funeral. For some this could be there first time being at one for others it could be there second or third. But all they know is that their close friend is lying unconsciously in a coffin. Glancing around some of them spot me and give me a small nod, they had been there for me throughout my life but not as close to what Lucas and I had. I turn my head and see Karen and Keith slowly walk up the aisle. Karen clutching Keith with her dear life. People aimlessly give there condolences like they knew him personally 'oh he was a good boy.' 'Why did the dear lord take him he was always so happy.' They slowly took there seats at the front of the church. I see my parents walk slowly up the aisle as well they seem so sad, they didn't look fake. For some time in my life I didn't see my parent's real reactions or expressions but today they seemed broken. I guess they always thought of Lucas as a son as well, he would usually be at mines playing with me at a young age my mother and father treated him like a son and im happy for that. They greet Karen and Keith and sit next to them. Karen slowly looks up and spots me in the corner. For some reason she could always sense where I was just like Lucas. She slowly gets up and walks ups towards me. Keith and my parents watch her. She gently gives me a tight embrace whispering things to me about Lucas. I feel hot tears prickle my eyes and they slowly cascade down my cheeks. She slowly wipes them away and tells me that he always loved me and never will stop. Lastly she gives me a quick peck on the cheek and walks back up to her seat. Some minutes passed on by till I felt someone's hand on my shoulder I slowly turn to find Nathan. He has helped me through Lucas' death even though I pushed him away he never backed down. He gives me a reassuring smile before whispering _'Show the world what he was like, let his memory live wherever you are okay, I'll be watching you, he would have been so proud of you.' _I take his hand from my shoulder and gently squeeze it, silently thanking him for being there and giving me courage. He gently nods his head in understanding and walks to where his parents are sitting. I slowly make my way to my parents. My mother leaping from her seat and tenderly hugs me and sits me down next to her, she takes my hands and cups them with hers and soothingly rubs her thumb over them. I turn to my father and he places his arms over my shoulder. For once in my Life I am grateful for my parents to be here to help me through this time but I knew they would be leaving soon back to there work.

_End of flashback_

Back at school...

First Period used to be my favourite lesson. I would always sit next to Lucas and we would always end up goofing about. He always enjoyed English he had a passion for reading. As I sit here watching the teacher drowning on with the lesson. Everything seemed to go really fast, it felt like I was frozen just watching the day go by. All the student's quickly writing down the notes. An air or hand suddenly appears then disappears. Then something got me out of my daze. I look up at the teacher as he hands me my work, he seemed disappointed but he knew I was going through a tough time so he didn't say anything about it. He continues to hand them out and finally writes down our assignments on the board. _You have till tomorrow to hand me a piece of writing which describes who you are, It doesn't matter how long it is but I want a maximum of 500 words._ The bell rings and the whole class quickly leave the room. I see Nathan waiting by the door. He asks me if we were meeting at the tutoring centre after school I nod silently saying yes. He engulfs me in a hug and I let out a giggle. He seems so much closer to me now, He has helped me through, he didn't treat me like a baby he knew that I needed time, he never judged my new dress sense or personality he just stuck by me and I am so grateful. He really seems like my saviour. I told Lucas a week before he died that I was crushing on Nathan ever since they started hanging out. Lucas seemed happy for me that I found someone. I made my way to the tutoring centre and started on the assignment, for the rest of the day I had no other lessons. I take a seat and look around trying to remember all the good times and bad in the room. Imprinting it in my mind.

_Flashback to his funeral…_

The mass was underway and soon it was my turn to say something. I make my way to the front. I see a sea of black bodies all staring expectantly at me. I say a few words which describe Lucas perfectly the way he was and even some secrets so they really truly new what he was like. Like how he is scared of spiders. I retell the story to them, How he came over to my house after school to see my new pet, but he didn't know it was a spider I just said it was hairy. I think he thought it was a dog. The congregation smiled softly. I told Lucas to close his eyes and hold out his hand which he did. I placed webby on his palm he giggled a bit as it tickled him but soon he froze and let out a shriek when he opened hi eyes, he threw webby up in the air and it landed on my bed. Lucas ran to my desk chair and stood on it screaming his lungs out. The whole church erupted in laughter even Karen and Keith. I carry on with my speech with a smile I tell them that I had a song to explain how I feel about Lucas and how everyone should remember him and his life. I walk slowly to the piano on the corner I take a seat. No one has heard me sing before except Lucas and my parents when they caught me singing in the shower or in my room. Come to think of it I think they did it on purpose and some times they bought a camcorder with them, I guess I never really took notice of it. I slowly run my hands over the ivory keys and begin to play.

_I will remember you  
Will you remember me?  
Don't let your life pass you by  
Weep not for the memories _

_remember the good times that we had?  
I let them slip away from us when things got bad  
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun  
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one  
I will remember you  
Will you remember me?  
Don't let your life pass you by  
Weep not for the memories  
I'm so tired but I can't sleep  
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep  
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word  
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard  
But I will remember you  
Will you remember me?  
Don't let your life pass you by  
Weep not for the memories _

_I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose  
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose  
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night  
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light  
And I will remember you  
Will you remember me?  
Don't let your life pass you by  
Weep not for the memories  
__**(Sarah McLachlan: I Will Remember You)**_

When finish the song I find my cheeks damp and the tears seem to never end. I turn to the crowd they are weeping I make my way to my seat but before I do I go up to Karen and Keith and tell them that I doubt that Tree Hill will never forget him. Karen engulfs me a in a hug and whispers thank you. The mass carries on but deep down I know that while the rest of the people have found solace and peace after the song I hadn't. I still felt saddened and alone.

_End of flash back_

Slowly I put a lid on my pen. I look over my work. The words on the page they seem to form a picture in my mind as I read over it. So dark and so empty, nothing to live for. I look at my watch Nathan should be here soon. I don't want to see him. I get up quickly and pack my bag. I hurriedly leave the room and get out the school quickly, never looking back. Walking down the streets I remember the times when Lucas and I would pull pranks on the people, ringing the door bell and hiding behind the bushes, stealing their paper and placing in the weirdest places like on top of a tree. We would get into so much trouble for disturbing the peace but it was the good times.

Nathans POV

I reach the tutoring centre a couple of minutes late. I hope Haley is still there. She has been through so much and I just want to help her. Right before Lucas had joined the basket ball team we would usually play at river court and Haley would be there to cheer Lucas on. After a couple of weeks I had grown a crush on her, who wouldn't she was hot. People would ask how I could want her instead of some other person but I realised that it weren't looks I was looking for it was their personality and Haley's was the one I feel for. I enter the tutoring centre 'Haley you in here…Haley im sorry im late…' But there was no answer. I reach for a piece of paper on the table. Its Haley's assignment for English I slowly read it. As I reach the end. I realise that I could loose her forever like I had lost Lucas. I race out of the school still clutching the piece of paper. I stuff it in my jacket and get into my car. And drive of as fast as I can…I silently wonder am I to Late...

I guess that is the end of part two…Thank you for those who are reading….hopefully i will update soon again.if any of you are confused about anything just ask...dont forget to reviewand tell me what you think


	3. Chapter 3

Following you

**Chapter 3 **

I slowly make my way to the bench over looking the sea. Silently praying that I would wake up from this nightmare and get back to my normal life. I have to laugh a little knowing that it will never happen. I close my eyes and pinch my self on the arm, slowly opening my eyes i notice that nothings changed, since I am awake and I am living this nightmare. I place my bag on the old wooden table, slowly grazing my hands over the wood and slowly tracing the engraved words of the table _"HJ & LR BFF"_  
Quietly reading it out loud _'Haley James and Lucas Roe Best Friends Forever'_

I remember that day when we wrote that. It was the end of the school year everyone couldn't wait for the summer holidays to begin. Lucas and me were on our way home and passed the Docks. I ran as fast as I could to the edge and looked over, watching silently the water flow from under me. Soon Lucas joined me and soon enough we were both watching the water glisten under the sun. Some time after he left but I stood firmly in my spot and carried on watching the water... knowing that I wouldn't see it for a while since I was going with my parents to New York to visit my aunt. Lucas called my name and I turned around. My gaze fell on the table and all the little wood chippings that piled up on the side. I slowly walked towards him and looked at the table. Soon enough I jumped on him and engulfed him into a tight hug knowing that this was the first time that we were both going to be separated for the summer.  
That day will never be forgotten since it was that day that I knew that I could always trust him and know he will be there for me.

I grab my bag which lay on the table slowly make my way to the edge of the dock and sit down. My shoes dangle from the edge nearly touching the water down below. I open my bag and take out a bottle filled with a clear solution, I also take out the container filled with tablets. I didn't know what they do, I just grabbed them. It wasn't that hard to take the bottle since there was no one home to see me take it and well the pills were just there. No one would have noticed if they were gone. Since there was no one left in this world to see me.

I pop two pills in to my mouth. I could taste the bitterness of them as they lay on my tongue gradually fizzing. I twist the cap of the bottle and bring it to my lips, I take a big gulp and let the intoxicating taste overwhelm my taste buds. It wasn't the first time I had vodka, hell I remember when I first tried it because Lucas thought it would be fun. You know like experiment.  
I pop two more and take another swig of the liquid, which seemed to taste much better then the first gulp.

This time I remembered the time when we both first learnt to play basketball. Okay it was more of Lucas learned to play while I tried to make a shot. I chuckle to myself remembering that day; I had tried so hard to make one shot and was failing miserably and everytime I tried I got angrier by the minute, that was until Lucas came up to me and told me how to stand and how my posture should be. It was that day that I made my first shot. I never tried again because I always felt embarrassed since that was the time Lucas started to play with Nathan. Sadly that was also my last time to shot a ball through a hoop since Lucas isn't here anymore to show me how. I could now feel the effect of the pills since I began to feel dizzy.

I slowly feel a drop of water, fall on my arms. I then realise that I was crying. I take two more tablets and another big gulp. I had lost count now of how many I had taken. I didn't really care as long as I don't feel anymore. My mind begins to wonder again. To the past, to the time that Lucas was alive. A smile crept on to my lips as I remember my first kiss. It was the best and worst day of my life. I laugh a little just remembering our faces when we ended the kiss. We were both horrified. It didn't feel magical or wonderful. It felt like I was kissing my own brother which is so wrong and for him he said it was like kissing his sister. We both laughed at the end of the kiss knowing that we were better as friends, best friends that is. However it felt special, since Lucas was my first kiss and I was his.

I take another two pills and place them in my mouth and take another big gulp. I start to feel my self rock back and forth slowly. But it wasn't enough to block out the image of Lucas' lifeless body in my arms. I grab the container again and look inside to see if there were more I couldn't see anything my eyes began to blur and I aimlessly threw the container behind me. I then grab for the bottle, which seemed lighter, i take another swig and this time it didnt taste as bad, it tasted quiet refreshing. I remembered the day when we both entered high school, by the end of the day he had managed to capture two girls hearts, it was so funny watching him as Brooke Davies and Peyton Sawyer linked their arms through his and drag him over to the bus stop. He looked absolutely mortified. There he was being captured. He looked at me, pleading with his eyes to save him, but i had other plans. I walk over to them and invite them to have dinner with us at Karens Cafe. They seemed estatic and let out a shriek, Lucas looked on scared, what did he get himself into.

I take another swig of the bottle and notice that nothing was coming out, i gave the bottle a shake and tip it upside down, but I loose my grip and I watch as it falls in to the water. My eyes feel heavy and I can't seem to keep them open. I try but I feel so tired. Maybe I could close them for a while, and I have.  
I feel like Im flying through the cold air and it feels good.

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything seems like the movies  
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive _

_Dont forget to tell me what you thought!_

_Xx_


End file.
